Cinema in Shepherds Bush, November 25th 2017

It being freezing out and having little to fill a this weekend with, I went to a 4pm viewing of a gentle drama ('Film Stars Don't Die in Liverpool', very nice). As you might imagine for that time of the afternoon, the screening was filled by about 6 white haired folk in fleece jackets. Two old female friends sitting in front of me and chatted about little Christmas tricks their parents used to pull on them when they were kids (e.g one's dad used to pretend that he saw reindeer in the sky but she was always too slow to whip her head around and catch them).

A fuzzy haired barrel of a woman came in with ticket in hand. Marched up to the pair and announced that they were sitting in her seat. One gently replied that you can sit anywhere - the cinema is practically empty.

'But that's my seat. It says so on the ticket.'
'Oh dear. Well I suggest you might want to take another seat?'
'I suggest that YOU'RE A STUPID COW'.

I and the three other souls in there gasped - fingers guiding popcorn into our mouths as the drama continued.

After an electrifying stand-off, the fuzzy haired woman stropped over to an identical seat on the other side of the cinema.

'YOU'VE RUINED THIS FOR ME. YOU STUPID COW'.

When the two friends whispered to each other in amazement she shouted across the cinema -

'STUPID COW. STOP TALKING PLEASE'. And then herself opened and rustle a bag of crisps as an act of raw aggression and provocation.

it was great.

Another elderly woman came in. She dithered about, trying to find her names of the rows. She finally found it... approached the fuzzy haired maniac and said softly

'I'm very sorry but I think you're in my seat'.

Top entertainment. Highly recommended.